Long distance relationship are not easy. I can count very few who would even dare a long distance relationship and of that group, far less have succeeded in maintaining that relationship through the phase.
long distance relationship
First of all, no relationship can really survive on a perpetual long distance basis. The “drifting apart syndrome” is very real, and you need a whole lot of commitment to make it work. But in spite of that, there are still a few things you need to have in place.
1. Have a Definite Plan
If I had a penny for the number of relationships that have been killed by the absence of a plan in a long distance situation, I would be filthy rich. You don’t just say; “Go on Honey… travel the world we will survive somehow”. The truth is that you won’t survive with that attitude.
Like I said, it must be a phase. So if the two of you are really serious about that relationship, there must be a mutual agreement as to how long that phase should last and how that can be made possible. Statistics state that 70% of all failed long distance relationships fail due to unplanned changes.
Of course plans do not always work exactly as they were conceived, but they do inform actions and form a basis for waiting. You should have a plan, a guide. How long does getting a degree take? How long will it take before I can join you? How soon can you get transferred back from the job? Such questions should be asked and answered before you part ways especially for unmarried couples. Do not make a commitment to a bubble. Have a plan!
2. Learn Your Partner’s Schedules And Work With It helps in long distance relationship.
Maybe you always used to spend all your time together and your partner always picked your calls whenever you called. Perhaps they were always waiting at the phone for your call. But then, things have changed.
Suddenly their calls start going to voice mail more often, and they start having less and less time for you. The natural reaction is to become vexed and even irritated, but the sensible reaction is to learn their schedules, learn what a day looks like for them and know the open moments to call or to catch up.
Also, you need to show interest in their day and their activities. This way, your partner would still be waiting for your call, once it is the right time.
3. Pictures, pictures, pictures
A picture is worth a thousand words they say! Well, in Long distance relationships, they say more than words. They are constant reminders of your commitment and a great aid in remaining faithful. Screen savers, wall photos, photos in your wallet – whatever works for you. The point is to keep your commitment always before you in form of pictures.
The reason for this is very easy to discern: distractions become more obvious and attractive when the person you are committed to is not present. You tend to start getting a little too friendly with others and most times unintentionally you find yourself roped in emotionally and the walk becomes trickier. Pictures would not do all the work, but they do help.
4. Keep Communication Flowing. Important in long distance relationship
Communication is the lifeblood of every relationship and the thing that distance threatens the most. Communicating with your partner becomes so much more difficult for many reasons. One of them is the difference in schedules, and in extreme cases even difference in timezones if the person moved abroad.
However if the relationship must survive, you must find a way to make it work. Thankfully, technology and the internet have made communication easier with chat apps like Whatsapp and Telegram. Many times however letters on a screen just would not cut it and you need to hear some voice. Skype, and some chat apps like Whatsapp and Telegram have also made this easier and at reasonable costs.
5. Make Major decisions together
Things will change, that is a given. But the manner in which they change can be controlled. If you get a new job, buy a new house or make some major life decisions, then your partner should know about it and weigh in on it even if they are not present with you. Nothing says; “I am committed to you” more than asking for opinions on major life decisions.
6. Visit in Long distance relationship
This is not always easy and in some cases can be quite expensive. But you still have to find a way to visit at least once or twice if at all possible. My suggestion will be to make it an event or even a surprise! You never know how much you have missed your partner until you see that face again. Those feelings come surging with such a force that you can hardly contain it. Calls can go a long but nothing can beat actual presence. So make the sacrifice if you can and you will return with a deeper resolve to wait the duration of the agreed plan.
Statistics state that about 40% of all long distance relationships end in failure, but with these tips, who needs statistics?